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MC Lyte
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Absolutely Positively.....Practical Jokes
Lyricist:King Forty Five , Lana Moorer
I play practical jokes just to get a laugh I put roaches in my neighbor's bubblebath But anyway, one day she called upon me She said, 'Lyte, it's an emergency'
My next door neighbor had an errand to run I said, 'Why Ms. Davis, ask your son' She said, 'Ricky's at his grandmother's' I said, 'Well, what about Tommy, the younger brother?'
She said, 'See, umm, he's at the pharmacy' I said, 'He'll be back soon how much longer could it be?' She said, 'C'mon, please, it's just a trip uptown If you leave right now, you'll be back before sundown
Hurry up, there's not a moment to spare It absolutely positively has to get there' Umm, I contemplated then I played a good Samaritan Started the car, then she threw the package in
It absolutely, positively has to get there It absolutely, positively has to get there It absolutely, positively has to get there It absolutely, positively got to get there
Pumpin' out the music on the FDR Not far behind me was a DT car So I eased up selector, 55 the digit But on the FDR, 40 is the limit
Here they come, sirens on I could see myself in jail 'til the break of dawn But they rolled right by, it wasn't me they was after A little red corvette, they was tryin' to capture
Dread I feel sweat so I set down my jacket Look up ahead, now that's what I call traffic Dipped to an exit and I made my way through Couldn't believe when I hit First Avenue
On a Honda's ass, just about to crash Looked at the gauge and the shit said no gas Zero, nada, nothing in here, see In car terms the shit was on empty
Got out and pushed the shit to the side Hailed a cab then I caught a quick ride To the house of inflation, yes, the gas station Find more lyrics at ※ Mojim.com Gave a little tip to show my appreciation
Got back to the ave where I left my car It wasn't there but it couldn't have gone far Damn, I must have got towed Tried to figure out how much money I owed
Went to the pound and I paid my debt Think that was the worst, you ain't heard nothin' yet Bumped into that crackhead Sam, I used to see And like always, hand out, give me money In my tank was a dollar's worth of gas I had to get to a nice machine fast
It absolutely, positively has to get there It absolutely, positively got to get there It absolutely, positively got to get there It absolutely, positively has to get there
As I left the bank to walk back to the BM Couldn't believe what my eyes were seein' Looked at the back tire, it was flat While the other three were so damn fat
A brother walked by and offered his help Ordinarily I woulda did the shit myself But he changed it quick, so I passed him a ten Here I go on this journey again
Went to the gas station to fill it up When a crackhead from nowhere grabbed the pump I said, 'Look, I don't need your help today' And I scared the motherfucker and he was on his way
Oops, a cat, shit, scrat Fur on my tires and all that What's this, a stroke of bad luck? But at this point, I don't even give a fuck
I got to get the package to the destination No matter what the confrontation I arrive, bag in my hand Lookin' for a woman named Pam
She opened the bag, it was wrapped tight and snug But in that bag, yo, in that bag 45, guess what, it was a box of Q-tips A box of fuckin' Q-tips, man
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